The Relationship Zone

The Covid virus pandemic in many ways turned our homes into little desert islands, where we have existed for the past weeks and months with family members, friends (and now some ex-friends). It can be the worst of times as it is for many, or transformative tools which we can use to enhance every aspect of our life from this point onwards.

Mindfulness in relationships can take so many dimensions right from the very simple act of being present and simply listening  to the other person, be it through language or even body language to the act of forgiveness. Language is always limited in what it can convey because it is simply a combination of various sounds, hence presence and awareness can bring tremendous positive energy into any relationship. Being present when communicating can make a big difference in how you and the other person feel.

Mindfulness in our relationships allows every moment to turn into a new one, where forgiveness lets go of the past over and over again. A letting go of the past over and over again and from moment to moment – forgiving others and more importantly yourself of expectations and past mistakes. A 2nd, 3rd, 4th and 5th chance, in the full realisation and knowing that we are all evolving and always changing for the better with every experience showing us either what we like or dislike so that we can choose over and over again until we are happier and happier, just like the main character in the film Groundhog Day.

Mindfulness is about letting go of our expectations, both of other and of ourselves. Expectations involves the mind, which is never concerned with the present moment and always projecting itself into the past or future. With expectations, the mind projects images built from memories and it’s hopes and mental constructions of what it wants others and ourselves to be in the present moment. This usually involves a rejection of ourselves or the other as we are right now, a complete overlooking of the perfection within the present moment.

Imagine meeting someone who has the ability to completely let go of the past and the future, a selective form of mental amnesia of sorts. There is perhaps less need for imagination if we look at our pets. Noticing how present they are as you look into their eyes. A meditation of sorts on the ability to totally let go of the past and future, affecting the way we feel when in their presence. A knowing on our part that all past mistakes are forgiven and long gone. A peaceful and loving acceptance of us, a love devoid of conditions that loves and shows affection purely for the sake of loving. Similar to the love of a young child before society conditions them to think and be taken over by the past and future. That innocent trusting, accepting and forgiving that only a love without conditions can bestow. As we feel this love and acceptance of the child and pet, we get our glimpses and feel of the freedom that mindfulness brings.

Mindfulness involves a complete and whole presence and awareness of being in the present moment. Every moment becomes a fresh one devoid of past trespasses and “mistakes”, that is, if there actually is such a thing as a mistake. For all action and words are simply that – action and sounds. How we interpret these actions and sounds is really up to us. The practice of mindfulness can give us the space between our inner stillness and thoughts that filter the “drama” unfolding around us.

Mindfulness creates space between who we really are and our thoughts and emotions. It is our mind and emotions that usually take us on the roller-coaster of ups and downs, likes and dislikes, happiness and sadness. The practice of mindfulness allows us to treat our mind and emotions